As the holidays arrive, stoves simmer, and families reunite, the Most Wonderful Time of the Year resonates in our hearts.
We want our family to know they are loved beyond measure, yet everything around us during this season equates with BUY MORE PRESENTS!!
Over the next six weeks, 90% of people will buy things they can NOT afford.
Can we make a difference this year and avoid the deep regrets that occur once that January Credit Card statement comes through?
How do we balance this during the holidays? How do we respond to our children when their “Wish List” continues to grow exponentially?
We’ve spent the last two decades trying to zero in and solidify our children’s understanding of the difference between wants vs. needs. And while the holiday season is definitely a time where they may end up with something on their “Want” list, we’ve realized that experiences and relationships trump “the stuff” every time.
I still remember that first Christmas when our son opened up a present he’d wanted for months. He was so excited for 30 seconds, hugged and thanked us and then questioned, “Ok, where’s my next present?”
It was then that I realized more doesn’t mean better, in fact, for him, it was worse.
During our lean years, there were times when we only shared three gifts in honor of the 3 Wise Men Gifts, as well as fun filled stockings. A friend of mine gives four gifts: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.
We’ve minimized the amount of gifts given, but have also focused on the experiences.
Bottom line, when kids are young, they want “stuff,” but by January 10, children, can’t remember 1/2 of the presents they received, yet they will remember those special experiences and traditions that occurred with family and friends.
If you doubt me, poll your children today about last year’s presents. It’s very enlightening.
Here are some life changing CHRISTMAS PRESENTS that will make an impact for years to come.
1. LOVE GIFTS
One of the most amazing memories I have of Christmas was the giving and receiving of our Love Gifts. A few months before Christmas, my parents would have us all pick names and we would make a handmade love gift for that family member. This was not a “throw something cruddy together at the last minute” type of gift. This was an “invest your time, energy and whole hearted devotion into making something special for this person. Yes, before pinterest, my brothers were Renaissance men.
One year, my brother CROSS STITCHED. Yes, a high school, athletic type kid cross stitched a beautiful scene of lambs for my mother because she collected them. Another brother wrote a personal song, and another built me a hope chest, which I still have. My father would always make something very focused and sentimental such as a goal setting board or time management chart. 🙂
I was always more excited to give my gift than receive it because so much time went into those love gifts.
2. Gifts that Build Creativity
What I’ve learned from our five children is that while a few rare children will dive into creative outlets on their own, most need to be encouraged. It has to be more than just handing them a book or art supplies but actually taking the first steps with them and helping them learn the culture of creativity. Here are just a few that just might start that.
Art supplies with an art lesson:
One year, my father made my brother and me a homemade wood art easel. One side was stenciled with my brother’s name and one side with mine. That opened up such a creative side and we used it for years. In fact, my brother still has it and now his new grandson will be able to enjoy it. You could wrap up a home made apron, paper, brushes and paint so they can get going immediately.
Your Christmas season will be made if we can unplug for our few hours with the kids and get them excited enough to take a step into the past. First published in 1882, this is a wealth of projects and games, with practical directions on how to make them. It’s the ultimate pre-TV, anti-couch potato activity book, it answers the question, “What’s there to do?”
Our boys grew up with the American Boy’s Handbook and the hours they spent in the woods building forts and conquering new lands can not be counted. We then tackled building some Bow and Arrows from the Dangerous Book for Boys and took it a step further with building our own DIY Tee Pees in 30 Minutes. What a blast!
The Daring Book for Girls is the manual for everything that girls need to know—and that doesn’t mean sewing buttonholes! Whether it’s female heroes in history, secret note-passing skills, science projects, friendship bracelets, camp fire songs, double dutch, cats cradle, the perfect cartwheel or reading Abigail Adams’s Letter to John Adams, there’s something creative for every girl.
While I don’t agree with each task taught in this book, there’s so many we enjoy.
Create your own Photo Shoot:
Give your kids the gift of a photo shoot with their friends.
Let them create the props, set up the back drop and just have a blast with this photo booth.
Pull out old frames, spray paint them, hang balloons and sheets or go all out with a fancy “set.” This would be perfect for any occasion and it always brings out the best giggles and laughs (with kids of all ages.)
Books, books, books with a twist – put a twist on just giving a book to your child and after you read it out loud, create your own reenactment of this story.
Kids have a blast and they get to see you as the fun mom that you are (or were, before you had kids ;).
3. New Experiences
Is there something unique they’ve wanted to try or better yet, something that you can experience together?
Classes: My daughter and I are going to take a cake decorating class, but how about sewing, fencing, dancing or the art lesson mention above?
Memberships: Zoo, YMCA, Science Center (we did that for a few year with our kids and had a blast. Plan play dates with other families there), museum, water park, trampoline centers (exercise and fun)
Fun Family Days:
Hot Air Balloon ride, camp in the backyard, spend a night in a hotel and walk around downtown (make sure it has a pool and your kids’ experience is made), head to a farm, head to Krispy Kreme late at night in your PJs and take a tour), tickets to a big sports game ( my hubby took our son to a Packer’s game in NYC for his 18th. It was his Christmas and bday present combined that year.) Plan special Daddy/Daughter Dates or fun Mother/Son outings. Make sure they’re not your typical weekly routine, but intentional, focused time celebrating your child’s unique gifts.
One of my friends shared that instead of any presents from any family members, they all combined efforts for a family cruise. I thought there’s no way most can afford that expense, but she shared the amazing deals offered and how it was cheaper than staying in a hotel with food. I didn’t know that, so it’s definitely something to look into.
4. Financial Gifts
One of the gifts I’m forever grateful for was the long term vision that both my parents and in-laws had when it came to presents whose value kept giving and giving.
They understood the priority of wise investments. Investments in our future.
When I hit my teen years, my dad gave me a “house” deposit. As a financial planner, he earmarked cash and invested it with the sole purpose that I use it to purchase my first home or use it to start up my own business (entrepreneurial family, you know). At 14, I still remember the sense of disappoint when he shared the news with me. During your youth, presents are all about instant gratification, but at 24, disappointment changed to, “That was the most amazing gift ever, Dad.”
The cash amount was minimal at the time, but the investment multiplied and when we bought our first house, it made such a difference with our down payment.
My in -laws did something similar only they contributed to their grandchildren’s college investment fund. As retired school teachers, they know the importance of investing in their grandkids education and as parents, we appreciate this long term gift.
As you are able, begin allocating money to invest in your children’s future. Even if it’s just a tiny bit. These are gifts they won’t appreciate now, but speaking from experience, they are gifts that will make an impact for years to come.
5. Gifts of Service
A few years ago, I went to Peru with Compassion International. While I was there, I shared about one of the Best Christmas gift my parents ever gave. My heart still beats with causal passion thanks to those life lessons learned and those are ones that can’t just be taught in a day.
Model for your children the gift of an OTHERS focused life. This is so contradictory to everything around them, but it can begin with baby steps.
Can you plan a work day for someone truly in need? While the kids may moan and groan, they’ll remember the impact you’ll have on that family for years.
Spent time at the nursing home. My mom identified the gift of multi generations early on, even though at the time, I thought my life as a high schooler was over.
Have them use some of their money to buy gifts for charities that help children or adopt a family for Christmas, pack a Shoe Box with Operation Christmas Child.
Spend a day creating care packages for the homeless and have them ready in your car throughout the winter.
Share blessing baskets with local refugee family and even invite them to your home. The wonders of a cross cultural friendship for your kids will forever impact them.
Yes, serving as a family often gives us far greater gifts than we could ever imagine.
Wow, I feel like I am just warming up, but hopefully those are a few ideas that will get your creative juices going for this upcoming gift giving season.
Years from now, our children will thank us when they understand the full impact of what gift giving is truly all about. It’s about so much more than the “stuff.”
What are some of the neatest Non Toy gifts you’ve ever received?