April 29, 2017

Encouraging…the Little Things

Jan7

It’s been one of those “hard to be a mom” days.

Yes, I’ll just admit it.

I was sorely disappointed in some of my childrens’ choices, and so in like manner, my reaction equaled the quality of their poor decisions.

Plain and simple, I reacted in frustration, rather than responding with wisdom.

I’ve shared how “I want to be a YES mom,” but sometimes, it is quite the challenge. One of the ways I am spending January is by encouraging my children in the little things.  Sometimes the pursuit of the big thing is our focus and yet I forget the goal is for them us to  pursue excellence of character in the little things first.

Remembering the Little Things

Often times our greatest accomplishments are the little things we do to encourage those around us that just make life sweeter for everyone. You know those things…the little things that no one ever notices, or if they do, it’s not mentioned. Things like remembering to take the trash out without being asked, rinsing the dishes and putting then in the dishwasher (instead of piling them on the counter) and feeding the dogs every day because that is just what you do. But it’s not just chore type things. I embrace the moments when my teen son snuggles with his baby sister and reads Cinderella to her for the tenth time, or when the girls ask to hold babies at our sporting events to give those moms a break.

So this month, I am keeping a list of these moments of glory by posting a list for each family member on the refrigerator that i will add to throughout the month. I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. I just want to see what happens, and I’ll let you know what I do with that info at the end of the month.

Who knows? Maybe it will catch on and everyone will start adding to the list….to others’ lists that is. 🙂

Another twist on this idea is below. Remember this doesn’t have to be just for children. It would work equally as well for neighbors or co-workers.

Who doesn’t love or need a dose of encouragement that isn’t based solely on a “performance” mentality.

You Thought I Didn’t Notice –Surprise your friends and family by noticing the things they do, especially when they think no one is watching. When you see your youngest son playing nicely in his room all alone, write him a note. Tell him how wonderful it was to watch him engage the mind God gave him, and how you love his creativity and imagination. Put the not under his pillow and be sure to ask him to then notice something about someone else, what they have done and write them a note.

You can put the cards in the mailbox, a briefcase, in a pocket or wherever else the recipient is sure to find it. The more you recognize these wonderful behaviors, and the more you honor it by writing it down, those around you will begin to know that someone cares about them. That encouragement will go a long, long way in a tiring week.

My “Yes Mom” moment for the day?

My 10 year old daughter just accompanied me on my Super Doubles couponing time, and then we went to Starbucks.

Just the two of us. (She has been asking me to go so she could use her gift card, but I’ve been saying, “No.”)

We talked and shared life.

I apologized, and thanked her for the amazing help she has been around the house.

Then I beat her in Uno. Life is good. 🙂


Comments

  1. OK, I totally had a terrible “mom” day. Truthfully, I just wanted to crawl back in bed. I’m glad His mercies are new inthe morning! And I am thankful for my mom buddies.

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  2. Thank you for this post. I am one of those moms that says no alot! I think I am going to start changing that today 🙂

    Blessings,

    Jennifer

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  3. I love that you are willing to admit mistakes and learn from them. Your children will notice that. I like the idea of keeping notice of the little things that they do each day…the things that get forgotten or taken for granted. I struggle with trying to be a “yes” mom as well. This was an encouragement to me today!

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  4. I love the heart in this. Encouragement is like some kind of supercharged fertilizer in family life– I think it makes good things grow. 🙂

    By the same token, though I wish I didn’t have need to offer them, our apologies bear wonderful fruit for our kids.

    Thanks for these thoughts– I real boost to me this morning.

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  5. Thanks for the excellent reminder! I needed it. Thanks too for being so open, honest and real. That is part of what makes me keep coming back. 🙂

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  6. Thanks for this post. A sweet reminder, that’s for sure. I want to try this. I try as best as I can to comment to my kids when they are doing something well, nice, etc. I want to make a real effort.

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  7. Thank you for this. How often we get so caught up in the things we need to do and accomplish, that we forget to say thank-you in whatever way seems appropriate. This post has reminded me to write my oldest daughter a little note to thank her for something she did while she was up visiting over Thanksgiving. Thanks again, Jen.

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  8. What a great post and a wonderful reminder. I am taking it to heart today. And I have shared it with several friends as well.
    Thank you

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  9. I needed this post today! I had a rough day with MY mom today (she has breast cancer and today was just not good emotionally) and I have to admit I took it out on my son when he got home from school. I was short with him and not very attentive since my head and heart were elsewhere. Before bed I read him his story and then he asked me to sing “How I Love You” and I burst into tears. He hugged me and we snuggled and I was able to apologize to him for being rotten to him all afternoon. He kissed me and said “That’s okay, I still love you, even if you do smell funny” (an inside family joke) We laughed and I stayed until he fell asleep! So this post helped me feel better too!! Thank you!!

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  10. This is a very good post, Jen! I like your noticing idea and your time with your daughter sounds just like what my mom and i used to love to do when i lived at home! blessings! kelly

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  11. Thank you for the encouragement!
    I need to find more “Yesses” Very challenging for ME with a 4 year old and almost 2 year old. Because what gets said the most??? NO. Ugh.
    Thank you!
    Megan

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  12. I am a “No Mommy” too. I like your ideas! I linked to this in my Friday Favorites!

    http://laniejandco.blogspot.com/2010/01/friday-favorites-jan8-2010.html

    ~Lanie

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  13. I love reading about your balancing act. Thanks for sharing your heart. May I suggest a trip to my blog to watch “The Invisible Woman”. It is by Nicole Johnson and about doing things when nobody notices. http://heresahandtoholdonto.blogspot.com/search?q=the+invisible+woman

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    Jens Reply:

    Oh my goodness, Lori – that is SO funny.
    I did that sketch (w/a bit of my twist) on Mother’s Day. You can see me doing it here.
    http://beautyandbedlam.com/speaking-topics/

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    Jens Reply:

    @Lori,
    Oh my goodness, Lori – that is SO funny.
    I did that sketch (w/a bit of my twist) on Mother’s Day. You can see me doing it here.
    http://beautyandbedlam.com/speaking-topics/

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  14. What a fantastic idea!

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  15. Thank you so much for fabulous encouragement.

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  16. Just what I needed to read today. Thank you for sharing.

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