Stowed away in the attic for decades, dust floats from the diary that I kept from ages 14-18. Paging through memories of old, I’m instantly transported.
Transported to pivotal successes that were so quickly forgotten, while years of insecurity surface in a heartbeat.
The diary leers, ” I need to lose weight and stop snacking. I need to get more organized for class. I need to talk softer (the whole gentle and quiet spirit thing).”
That list was the bane of my existence for years.
It’s this time of the year, as I browse through blogland, that the enemy woes me with his subtle whisper. The scars that he etched years ago jeer, “You don’t measure up.”
I see others perfectly scripted resolutions, and I remember the lies. I can do it all, I can balance it all, I can meet all needs. For years I’ve tried with best intentions, packed full of self determination, self effort and have been defeated.
But this year I am rebelling. I am rebelling from the notion that I can do it all.
I can’t, I won’t, and I will never meet every one’s expectations, including my own…
But HE can.
As women, our self appointed crowns of “perfection” tarnish and forget to remind us that if we are perfect, there’s no need for a Savior.
This year I am rebelling from the notion that I start anew January 1st.
I don’t want to make New Year’s Resolutions. I want to live Life to its fullest, not having regrets in December, but reevaluating and reworking goals throughout the year.
Understanding that my greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses, I’m welcoming this fact, rather than fighting it. Think back on my diary.
That same girl who was never organized for class, is the same woman who who still struggles with cluttered areas throughout her house, yet embraces hospitality by opening her home (even when boxes are stacked in the corner).
That same girl who was always in trouble for talking in class is now a woman used by the Lord to encourage women through the spoken Word.
That same girl who toiled with weight is now a woman who has lost 40 pounds, kind of kept it off (it’s iffy here and there), been freed from that stronghold (for the most part), yet still eats her favorite french fries.
That same girl is a woman who still really struggles with discipline.
I was introduced to Jonathon Edward’s Seventy resolutions this past week. His opening declaration is one I claim as my own.
“Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God’s help, I do humbly entreat Him by His grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to His will, for Christ’s sake.”
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Heb. 12:11
I’m defining them this week by outlining my goals with tangeable, and intentional baby steps.
Would you care to join me?
Come on, it’s New Year’s Rebelutions time.
As one who could stand to lose more than 40 pounds myself, I would love to hear more about yoru weight loss journey.
Thank you. And for this most of all….
“For years I’ve tried with best intentions, packed full of self determination, self effort and have been defeated. But this year I am rebelling. I am rebelling from the notion that I can do it all. I can’t, I won’t, and I will never meet every one’s expectations, including my own…But HE can.”
Yes, Jen! Yes! Thank you! Kelly
Wow…I couldn’t agree more!! Thanks for your insightfulness!
Oooo, so encouraging! Thank you so much for sharing this. I couldn’t agree more.
Amen sister! Thanks for sharing –
i soooo needed to hear this. i woke up not like how i looked in the mirror and what the number was on the scale. i too struggle with how the world sees me and the ultimate enemy who wants me to believe his lies and not big T truth. thanks for your insights and your wisdom. 2010 here i come!!
I totally agree! Thank you so much for sharing this. My first thought was the Fly Lady’s idea of having a shining sink before going to bed at night and I see that you liked that too. I am so in the mood to get organized, clean out and have more “time” rather than looking or searching for something. Now, I shouldn’t admit this but I live alone and yet I still need organization. 🙁 It has not been a strong point for me for a long time and not really sure how it went away….but I’m getting it back in baby steps!!
And yes, I’d love to know about your weight loss journey too. Wishing you and your family a very Happy New Year filled with laughter, love, good health and abundance!
Oh, yes, Jen! Yes!
Here’s to New Year’s Rebelutions!!
Great advice Jen! I love Jonathan Edwards. I read Marriage to a Difficult Man a few years ago, it was so good!
Thanks for a wonderful post and Happy New Year from Australia 🙂
running my own business most of my married life, it is so common to make resolutions each year as i eval the last. most years, i stay on course and stick with my annual improvement goals.
but this post hit home. it’s been all about me and my tenacity and determination. not so much GOD’S goals for me…in business.
my focus has been re-arranged. I’m going to remember to listen more to God’s whispers…in the office or out.
as from the movie “Tuck Everlasting,” “Don’t fear death. Fear a life not lived.” I would add: “Fear a life not lived surrounded by the God’s whispers.”
Thanks for being real!
Awesome insight, dear one. About 5 years ago, I did away with resolutions and became a rebelutionist, (love that)! I began praying over a new verse each year to pray through, study and go deeper as a disciple of Christ. This year it is 2 Timothy 1:7:
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity,
but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”
A whole lotta lotta in that verse, so it should be an awesome year of growth. Hope your goals and the plans the Lord has given you are blessed beyond comprehension. “The One who calls you is faithful, and HE will do it.” 1 Thess. 5:24 (my verse from 2008). 😀
I guess you could say I too have chosen ‘rebelution’ as I chose a different definition of resolution to focus on this year: “The progression of a chord from dissonance to consonance.” Paired with the verse from Phil. 3:13-14 ~ Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has call me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
2010… let go of the shackles of past failures (dissonance) and move toward a harmonious relationship with God (consonance)
This reminds me of a Carolyn Arends song “Every Day is New Year’s Eve”
I am rebelling with you! I so want this year to be more of Him and less of my flesh striving, striving, patting myself on the back….enough of it! 🙂 hugs!
Jen, you DARLING woman! You have not one notion of how desperately I needed to read these words right at this very second!!! I cannot even begin to explain how deeply your words here have touched and pricked this woman’s heart at 2:30 in the morning, as she was looking for something she could not explain until she read the words you penned to a faceless and cyber audience. I am humbled that in your obedience to write this- God has spoken to me in the most tender and passionate way possible.
Thank you, my sweet friend. Thank you.
Love that Jonathan Edwards quote. Yes, anything is possible with HIM.
I hear ya — it’s not just the pressure of what “they” say we should/must do to be “good enough,” it’s also about overcoming our own voices of doubt and criticism! Thanks for this post, Jen! I’d love to have you come visit me, too! Big Doll’s Boomtown
This post honestly brought tears to my eyes. The Lord used you to speak to my heart today, thank you for your obedient spirit in writing this b/c it’s so true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve loaded up my cart for the new year w/ tons of promises & efforts of becoming better, being better & living better & I always fall short & dissapoint myself & no one ever notices but me. I always feel I let myself down & God & something I have to constantly remind myself of is that “His grace is sufficient for me”. He meets me where I am & still sees my as His treasured daughter, nothing can remove me from that, so thank you for the words in this post. It means so much to know that I’m not the only one.
I needed this. I haven’t been wanting to make any resolutions this year. I thought, “What’s the point? I can’t keep them.” And it’s true; I CAN’T keep them. But I want to grow and to be reduced (in a couple of ways). So what I need to think about is, “WHO do I want to be at the end of the year/decade/my life?” not , “WHAT do I want to stop doing?” No one was ever impacted by what I stop doing but only by what I start doing.
It is so freeing to just keep our eyes on Him and only focus on becoming the best “us” that He made us to be. He didn’t make a mistake when He formed us.
No resolutions here, either. Just a steady trek toward Jesus, day by day.
Hey Jen! You and I are thinking alike right now…I just blogged about the same thing. I think you might be amused to read it :)! Take care!
PS- Been meaning to tell you how much I enjoyed you leading us in worship over Christmas at church…just loved it, oh your voice!
Yes, I have been a little intimidated by all the resolutions all over blogland the past week. I like your perspective, though. Nicely shared! Thank you. Blessings!!!
I’ve been following your blog for quite a while now, but just read this post for the first time. 🙂 You sound so much like me! Last year, my goal was to “be disciplined”- with my eating, with my clutter trouble spots, with making phone calls (which I loathe). Needless to say, it was such a difficult year, and I don’t think I’m any more disciplined. Much of the year wasn’t the happiest. A few months ago, I realized that I wasn’t happy, and that the whole tone of my family was affected. So my new goal since then is to be happy, to find joy interspersed around the work and worries of raising special needs kids, to be glad about my strengths and still feel okay about myself if I am a more creative/impulsive/pile-making sort. When I forget, the Lord finds gentle ways of reminding me, for which I’m grateful!