October 21, 2017

Before Hiring a Santa…


Dear Retail Establishments:

Before hiring a Santa, please ask to see what “said Santa” looks like in his traditional Santa gear.  Not trying to perpetuate the attitude that “looks are all that matter,” but when hired Santa sends children screaming to their mamas, an image consultant needs to be quickly consulted.

Dearest Hired Santa: I know you mean well and all, but you must realize that tinted glasses, especially indoors, are out. Contacts, especially for Santa, are in.

Please note that showing a bit of your jolly, red cheeks is acceptable. The children might even find it appealing to share a warm smile. Hiding behind the overabundance of fake beard…not good.

Also, freely handing out candy canes ONLY  to the children who sit on your lap, and refusing to give this poor, terrified fellow a candy cane because he found you out, is not OK.

In fact, I think the phrase “BAH HUMBUG” comes to mind. Now, Santa, I realize that you may have had a bad day. We all have them, but please save that attitude for Mrs. Claus because there is now a house full of young children debating the fact that you certainly can not be the REAL Santa.

And even though our family typically sticks to sharing the tradition of Saint Nick, any creativity left in their poor imagination has been destroyed.

I’m just sayin’….

Your truly,

Concerned observer

(Now head over to my sweet friend Emily’s for meaningful sharing on believing in Santa.)


  1. He looks a little more like the abominable snowman.



  2. What a sad time for your new nephew and Santa. So sorry.

    To your letter I’d add:
    Dear Retail Establishment:
    If all you can find is a hungover biker Santa, maybe you better rethink your plan.


    Dear Santa,
    Throwing a child off your lap because she says your beard is dirty is completely unacceptable.

    Yes, both of those things happened one year when a group of friends and I took our kids to see a Christmas movie and then found a Santa in a department store. No wonder nobody was standing in line to see him!


  3. Leslie Burger says:

    Our Friendly Center Santa uses his own beard which is yellowed and icky looking. The girls knew he wasn’t the real Santa because he was “stinky”. You can see the offensive impostor on my FB profile pic.


  4. Our Santa had tinted glasses this year, too! What is up with that? And he didn’t even smile…like because we can’t see your mouth under the beard we’re too stupid to NOT see the “twinkle” in your eyes. Behind the tinted glasses. Where are all of the jolly old men these days?!?!


  5. One more reason I’ve avoided taking my kids to see Santa! Better to believe from afar!


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