Last week, our family was all together again. It was divine. For this mother’s heart, I never realized just how much I would miss my big boys when they were gone and now the moments we have together are priceless.
It’s just so loud and as testosterone fills the air, over the top stories of college life spill over into laughter so full that my heart might burst. Suspicious stories from the past arise and moments that I missed the first time around come to the surface. I smile, thankful I didn’t know that when it truly happened. 😉
I glance at our 11 year old daughter and she’s beaming. A few days earlier she lamented, “Mom, I really miss when the boys aren’t here. It’s so quiet and not nearly as fun.”
Two that treat her as a princess are home. Who wouldn’t miss that?
I agreed with her sentiment, but also know it’s a passing of the baton period and this is our new life.
I think back to the years of hour long wrestling matches, arguing during King of the Hill, gross bathroom moments, more bodily noises than I knew existed, permanent marker masterpieces on the wall, pillows destroyed, bunk beds whittled with graffiti, more arguing, fighting and a few near misses.
So many moments that questioned my sanity and yet I realize how pivotal those moments were to becoming the men they are today.
The ironic thing?
Fair warning, young moms, many of those moments still occur today. Yep, boys become men, but sometimes, the boy never totally leaves them. They’re just concealed in a more mature approach. 😉
I often get asked how our kids are so close, but really, I think they wonder more about the boys. Girls naturally gravitate towards community, guys don’t and for many personalities, it needs to be modeled, insisted upon, instilled and quite frankly, drilled from an early age.
Raising a strong band of brothers is no easy feat. The desire to knit their hearts together into something that can’t be rivaled seems simple in theory, but the heart execution takes a lifetime.
It’s the mentality that your friends will come and go, but your brothers (your sisters, your family) will always be there for you no matter what. To raise your children as best friends is SO worth it!!
To install that love of family first, even when they don’t get it, don’t like it, fight you on it and would MUCH rather have their peer friend along on the family beach trip rather than their brother, is still worth every minute!
There will be times when that sentiment seems impossible. As hateful words are slung and those poisonous word arrows make their mark, you’ll wonder if this elusive band of brothers is just something movies are made of.
Trust me, the fight is worth it! Real life is worth more than any scripted reel – our heart senses are awakened and the tangible reminders erupt in real life 3D.
Our third son celebrated the big 18 yesterday. Our stair steps boys are now 18, 19 and 21 and we’re still working on this. Does it ever stop? Do we ever stop pouring into relationships?
There are still moments of sheer exhaustion and since often those moments intertwine with pivotal life changing type of decisions, those intentional moments matter a whole lot, but in them, we’re seeing the first fruits of boys becoming men, siblings becoming a true band of brothers and brothers becoming best friends. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it is.
I realize that this may be a difficult read for many of you. Goodness, it was just National Siblings Day (never knew about that before this year’s FB, but regardless…) I read some heartbreaking updates filled with hurt and hate. I know this touches on a sensitive spot with those who have severed relationships with their sibling and you have a lot of rebuttal points to make on this topic.
I get it. It’s a painful. There are no easy answers or quick fixes, but right now, this post isn’t about you. It’s about our kids and starting a new legacy.While there are no guarantees with any kind of relationships, they sure are worth fighting for at all times.
The past is behind and I think we can all agree that we desire these kind of relationships for our kids. Yes, quite possibly the kind you never had.
It’s so worth it!!
I don’t have any easy answers, but I do have more thoughts.
I’ll continue them soon with Raising a Band of Brothers as Best Friends (what I’ve learned.)
Read more from 31 Days with a Mentor Mom.