Emily – How could you do this to me? Did you parade on home and then howl devilishly behind my back to the Nester? Remember the biblical model of confrontation…just tell me to my face. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.
(xoxox…P.S. She would never do this…but it sets up the plot, so go with it)
When I adorned these cabinets with ivy in ’97 , it was with glee that I jubilantly accented my too tall cabinets with these…
and then, better yet, with these… 
because nothing screams the ’90’s more than enormous, fake sunflowers whose shiny plastic leaves shimmer from the glow of my recessed lighting. The problem with ceilings that are almost ten feet tall is that I rarely look “to the heavens” (my cabinets) and ponder the inadequacy of what lurks in the realms above.
Please note that for over ten years those lovely little leaves have gotten stuck in the colossal cabinet above….just like that pic up there…and it hasn’t bothered me a bit. In fact, I don’t think I have ever noticed this dilemma until I just saw this picture…right here in front of my face….hmmm.
So I’ve been pondering and have come to the conclusion that nothing ruins an awesome little bird house on top of some beastly bookshelves more than plastic-y, waxy leaves that burn the Nester’s eyes, hey?Yep, another book shelf in the school room/dining room.
How’s that for a close up…dust and all. I’m just laying it all out here, ladies.
Another of my beauties.
These were truly what sat in my tub waiting to be rinse offed (because dusting just wasn’t going to cut it) when I read the Nester’s Faking it Post. This is about 6 feet (it’s a garden tub) of Poopie pandemonium. Yes, my 4 poster cherry bed now is very lonely, but I dare not place them back above our head for fear of the dire consequencees since I now know how hideous one might think they are.Now can you see why I about spit out my coffee over this whole post?
She assures me that it was all on auto post, but I still feel a conspiracy among friends.
And the toss up is still between these two for which one wins the putrid prize…
Looks a little freakish Halloweenish just seeing those china doll heads there….it’s a striking curio cabinet stuck in a back sitting room corner with many other niceties on there….these are a few of the dolls that my mom gave me growing up…one each year for Christmas. WOW , was that a tangent…back to the toss up for the prize…
One sad story to share.
I heart these urns and flowers on my mantel.
(looks pretty pathetic, and so very crooked on here, but really cute in real life. 🙂
The problem is that the real ivy died, and so did the beautiful fresh roses and flowers that were with the topiary. When they were alive…stunning, truly. I felt for a moment like a true interior decorator. They were the focal point of the room and every one “ohh’d and ahhh’d.”
But that was then….this is now.
I need help….I couldn’t bare to part with them, so I put fake ivy topiaries back in…I know…gasp….it’s embarrassing, but I thought if I was truly going to get this all off my chest, and confess, I might as well be truly honest with you.
I’ll get through it. Thanks for caring. I know I need to put them both down, but it is just so hard to part with something that has been such an important part of your family for so long and brought so much joy.
King Solomon says it best,
“There is a time for everything…
a time to be born and a time to die….a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
I think this is my mourning season, my blogging friends. It is my time to tear down..yes, tear down my fetid fakes, and then mourn…gleefully, because I now know.
No, I am not the Nester, nor will I ever be, but good thing she loves me anyhow…fakes and all. 🙂
I actually had uploaded all the spots in my “haven” where I am doing the fakes/real flowers right, but you know what…I am not showing them…by choice.
You will see many posts in this Poopie party where people are doing it right….here you can take comfort in the fabulous fact, that this one isn’t, and she’s ok with that and that it really doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
It’s all about Balancing Beauty AND Bedlam.
You are too much! You have enough fake ivy to decorate a small village! Girl, in ’97 you were rockin’ it! And if you love it–you had better leave it! Remember, I use fakes too–I just make sure to only use what i love!
Speaking of love, I loved seeing you on Sunday!
Oh no…I don’t love it…i just never really looked up…you know what I mean? No, you wouldn’t, but I do. 🙂
The sunflowers are the best!! You know what I think looks worse – it’s the real plants that have one long 100 foot scrawny vine snaking around the kitchen! I’m always sticking my foot in my mouth so I hope you don’t have one!!! :)Nancy
Our little puppy had me up inthe middle of then night, then I couldn’t go back to sleep so I pop into The Nester’s blog. And I find POOPIE which, coincidentally, is why the dog woke up.
So I begin perusing other’s POOPIE. And I find yours. Now I have laughed so hard that I have awakened the dog again and am sitting here (im) patiently waiting for him to finish is duty.
Thanks for the midnight howl!
OMG….you are so funny…starting my day off with a great laugh. You are the queen of ivy. I have to admit I have it in a couple of small spots nothing like yours…lol
I do have a big basket of fake ivy leaves though…
Jen, I sure hope you don’t really think I was thinking what you think I was thinking when I was at your house! The Nester works independently, I assure you! There was no conspiracy to speak of! Your home is beautiful, loving, sweet and perfect in all the ways that matter.
Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999! 😉
I have been married since 1991, so believe me, your ivy looks so familiar to me:)
Funny post!
Bella 🙂
You made me laugh out loud this morning (with what you said–not with your decorating). Believe me, we all had our houses decorated like this at one time or another and it just looked NORMAL to us. It still looks normal to a lot of people.
Then one day you look up and wonder why on earth you have all that dusty stuff stuck in the cracks between the cabinets and ceiling. We all understand, don’t we, guys? -Julia 🙂
Hahahahahaha!
You can do it. Just get a giant trash bag (well you might need 2) and do it all at once. It’s not as painful that way.
Girl, I love you…in the middle of all of my trials I laughed so hard, I spit coffee on the keyboard…keep it coming.
xoxoxo
p.s. I
i threw out all of my ivy the year you put yours up….haha
“and if that doesn’t sway you, surely the delicously detailed mauve accents will thrill your sweet little contented heart on this tour.” LOL!
You had me cracking up all thru your tour, girl! Too funny.
http://www.tamragirl.com
We share so much of the same taste : ) Love your photos, fakes and words~ it was all so good!!
And as to my “OH NO” she didn’t~ I thought of having a give away on my blog for it but I thought it would be better suited for the TRASH!!
Have a great day,
Krista
I have never seen so much ivy! You are too funny! 🙂
I am guilty of this as well…guess I need to go update!
Maybe I am outdated, but I LOVE topiaries in urns! And I don’t think th ivy on cabinet tops is all that bad. Anything up there will get dusty — even if nothing is up there.
Jen! I definitely didn’t see your post until now! And I WISH those blue ones existed in nature! And I swear I have those same ones on the tops of my kitchen cabinets, but they are so covered in dust that they actually look “antiqued” at this point!
I agree that you have enough fake greens to open your own chapter of Fake plant lovers unite.
This is the funniest one I’ve seen. However at one time…you was on top of your decor…but things have changed since ’97 and I think for the better. I too have way too much on top of my cabinets…I am going to try to part with it. Blessings, Nancy
*cue the music* “… was blind, but now i see…..”
yay for no more fake ivy!! if you want the real stuff, i have an ENTIRE back yard, FULL of it, that i would love to give away!
justin and I would love to share about our church with you and your man… we could use all the prayer we can get!
Oh this is too funny.. I too had masses of ivy that I parted with a while back. You’re brave woman to show it in it’s entirety!
But if you love it and cant bare to part with it, keep it. After all, it’s your house and you look at it every day! Who cares!
Too Funny!!! The great outdoors called; it wants its ivy back!!
Use what you love and enjoy!
Lisa Q
Like the Nester says….if you love it, leave it.
Go with what you like!!!!!!
I need to get in on this party.
Tonight I will take pics of my fake hydrangea’s that I adore.
Hi Jen,
This post is too funny and after you so graciously visited and commented on my blog (lifeongrace.blogspot.com) I promptly visited yours and realized I’ve lurked there many times before. We’re already friends….you just didn’t know it til today. I’ve gotten so ‘taken in’ with blog world in my 3 short months of being introduced to it that now I have to pace myself….but I’m gonna dedicate a good 30 minutes sometime this weekend to all of your archives. You have a beautiful family and you’re so brave for exposing your ivy for all the world to see…..LOL
I like your urns!
I like your urns as well! You also just rework them and use them in another way. Don’t worry, I had those same fakes above my cabinets in the 90’s too. Luckily we moved in 2001 so I was forced to take them down and didn’t have the option to use them again in our new kitchen.
OMG!!! Jen!!! I just SOOOO Loved your post! I have laughed hysterically and now I don’t feel bad being at the end of this POOPIE list!!! Of course, I don’t know if I will be laughing as hard at the end, there may just be gasping sounds and maybe some CPR needed after I get done with yours!
OH! My congrats for baring your soul! You actually posted DUSTY pics..I didn’t have the NERVE! Considering HOW MUCH Ivy I have in MY house right now, I am like you, I really really need to do an intervention! I think I just remembered I have a whole TOTE of this crap in the Storage Bins! OH NO!!! Nester will definintely make me the POOPIE POSTER CHILD!
Thanks !!! Loved the laugh!
So funny! I am loving all the 90’s references.
Guess what…I also tried your granola recipe today and it ROCKS! Thanks!
Ivy POOPIES BFF’s! I love your blog.
my mother has an overgrowth of fake plants in her home…so much so that you can’t put your head against the wall without getting it caught in your hair! yikes!
Having ivy in your kitchen since 1997 is better than having wallpaper in your kitchen since 1995! Ivy comes down much quicker! What I wouldn’t give to have someone rip out my lovely mauve (sp?)and blue paper! Ugh.
Thank you for your sweet comment on my BATW post. One of the reasons I’d LOVE to visit NC is to meet you and visit your church…the band is great!
HAH…I got a great chuckle out of this post. I too was addicted to fake ivy …until the dreaded RMS comments informed me of the error of my ways. I did some cleanin of the green…and now I’ve only got a few here and there. I refuse to give it all up…The house just looks so sad with no greenery at all!
You are so lucky to be “real” friends with the Nester and her sis!!! So cool. You are a great poopie!!! I loved the laughs!! I also love New Every mornings comment…you can do it!
I am with you in the fake ivy department. After reading another post regarding the “POOPIES” I realized that I live in my home and am thankful and will not let the fake ivy consume me. Are there areas that can be tweeked? Of course… but fake ivy is a part of my happy home… dust and all. HAHA!!! 🙂
This is greatness! I love your attitude! Kelly
Jen, you are too funny! Great post! I’m not posting my fauxs, cause then I may be faced to part with them! LOL! 🙂 ~Rhonda
So what are you going to do? Throw out all of the ivy? I have the ivy. It’s the only green in my house! I kill real plants. Not purposely, of course.
Now I’m wondering what to do with all of my fake plants?!?! I need to replace them with SOMEthing!
Great. Now I’m feeling like a remedial decorator…I’m going to check out the blog to see what others have done.
Rofl…..hey atleast you are honest. Believe me I have some stuffed in a closet…hey it was expensive and it may come back in style rofl. Love your topiaries. All mine are fake…and I am keepin them. cherry
Are you sure you don’t need therapy for this?
Such a riot, girl!
P.S. I keep planning to have Nester over to my house, but how will I ever explain the enormous fake ficus staring me in the face as I type this? I might need therapy after she sees it!
OMG – This was too funny. But I think if you love the faux foliage you should keep it up! Just say no to naked nooks! That can be your motto. NOTNN.
Oh Jen…I couldn’t read this post…I had dust in my eyes after removing my fake ficus plant to the trash. Now what were you saying.