For the first time in over a week, I sit in silence.
Our house has been bustling with a spontaneous family reunion (They drove from CO, WI, Oregon and MN). The chatter has been non stop (understatement), the fridge has been running on overdrive, and if a moment of peace was desired, the only option was heading out to our woods.
Yet, it was a week of living Life to its fullest.
Here is what I realize about hospitality. If you have a “Welcome Home” mentality, they will come.
Friends and family aren’t coming for a perfect house. (So why do we spend days cleaning, painting, and rearranging, just to try and make it look like no one lives there? The counter stayed clean for the first few days, but by the end…it just didn’t matter anymore.)
Friends and family aren’t coming for the gourmet meals (although, I must admit, some easy appetizers and dips go a long way.)
Friends and family aren’t coming for the luxury accommodations (although one family did bring an RV as an alternative housing choice. ;)).
Friends and Family come because everyone desires a place to connect, to communicate, and to cherish those relationships that we all hold dear.
Since I was gone the four days leading up to our spontaneous reunion, I had to let go of many of the things I consider “necessities” when entertaining.
And guess what? It was OK. Our week was delightful, laughs were had, stories reminisced, and no one knew all the “plans” I had to make my house just a bit more perfect, and my meals a bit more grand. Because in the end…that is not what this was all about.
As Max Beerbohm said, “When hospitality becomes an art, it loses its very soul.”
I desire our home to be a place your soul can breathe. It doesn’t always happen, but it’s my goal.
So open your doors, and they will come. For one small moment, everyone connects, feels at home, and knows that those around them really care.
Oh so well said. My kids and I went to Logan, IA to see my dad for a few days then off to spend the 4th with my sister. I know exactly what you are saying. She just moved in to her house a month before we came down and she had only spent two weekends there since moving in. There was tons of food tons of people and tons of fun. It was a great trip for all.
Jen, I love this post! It made me all teary because I’m so hard on myself when it comes to hospitality. This made me breathe a big sigh of relief and smile on the inside. Yes, this is what it’s all about. Welcome home, indeed! (:
@Holley Gerth, thanks so much, my friend. Just hunting now for my pic to upload for my Incourage post for Wed.
Hospitality meet UFO on my deck…seriously. 🙂
@Holley Gerth, Holley, I also was very convicted as I am very hard on myself too. Hosting for me is fun but also overwhelming, stressful and tiring. I need to let go!!!
Just found your blog this week & I love it! I have eased way up over the years, used to get so worked up over everything being perfect and now try to just look forward to the fun. I do try to use the preparation in more of a relaxed way to get a few to do items checked off the list. My children love to entertain as much as my husband and I do, so they even get motivated to help out. We try to keep it fun and low key.
Great pics and great post. My parents are visiting from overseas later this week, and this was a good reminder that house doesn’t have to be perfect. My parents are here to see us and not the house!
I love the line about home being “a place your soul can breathe”. My thoughts exactly. Great post! 🙂
This is a great reminder! My favorite visits with family are when they come in droves…. 8-10 of them visiting at once. It’s so true… they don’t care what we eat, how clean my kitchen floor is or whether they sleep on the bed or on the floor. All they care about is visiting (well, and they want to make sure we have plenty of toilet paper!). I’m looking forward to a big visit next month! I can’t wait!
This was timely! Our gospel yesterday was the story of Mary and Martha. And the homily was about hospitality.
Ooo, so true. I always get all these extravagant ideas and plans to incorporate into hospitality-particularly the out-of-town guests, and our little 2 bedroom apartment ends up turning into shambles instead. But in the long run, making the effort to forget the un-picturesque setting we’re in and just enjoying the time together makes it so much more enjoyable. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂
I could not agree more Jen. I get so caught up in the “cleaning” and the planning and then am exhausted before they get there. Thanks for the lovely reminder about the relationship.
I LOVE this post, and think about not only friends and relatives coming from far away, but even get togethers with relatives in town… many of our family members feel too busy, too overwhelmed to clean a house for guests, and so just do not invite other family members over… and that’s sad, because no one cares if the house is clean, we just want to enjoy being together.
We’ve started the tradition of “friday night pizza” where we make from scratch dough (very easy, frugal and fun) and all comers are invited. They come at various times in the evening, and often bring various gifts of wine, soda, toppings, etc. But, they know it’s not required. After several months, they’re almost “trained” to know they can drop in, but it’s taken some real convincing. I still worry a teence if the house is messy, but once we’re talking and laughing, the clutter is forgotten.
I love this! I think every parent should read this and incorporate the “soul breathing” into a fun and relaxed place for kids to entertain too. I was never able to have friends over as my mother wanted everything perfect, ALL the time. My fondest memories were visiting my favorite aunt’s house ~ lots of people, food, conversation & laughter. Anyone would have slept on the floor and not cared ~ it was all about the fellowship. I applaud you!
xoxo
Pat
I have to laugh at the picture of your counter. I always think the same thing, why did I spend so much time worrying about cleaning when it becomes a mess so quickly. We do need to change the chip in our brain don’t we, friends and family just want to be together. Thanks for sharing these great photos – they give me hope.
Thank you so much for this post! I SO agree!!! Sometimes I forget but this past weekend we had a surprise party for our daughter…who turned 15…Early in the week I started realizing that our food budget for the month was being stretched to the limit and the number of relatives who wanted to come was growing…so I took a deep breath and called them and asked if people could help with the food…and they each got excited and said OF COURSE! I am the new girl on the block with my hubby’s family so it was a bit hard for me not to be able to do it all for them. They said that they don’t expect me to be able to provide enough food for everyone and are thrilled to all pitch in! Wow! What a great reminder for me!!!! It was very laid back and relaxed and pulled together by everyone and we had a WONDERFUL time with much laughter, stories shared, and plenty of food!
Thanks for sharing I am reminded that I am not alone!
LOVE these pictures. Our house has looked exactly like this more times than I can count- from the times we were in our twenties, stationed overseas and had upwards of 20 military guys over to spend the weekend eating home cooked food and hanging out with friends and family instead of dorm life, to weddings in the last two years when we had the wedding party and relatives sleeping all over the house, to once a month when we have a bunch of people from church up to spend the night. great fun!
I love this post! I get so worked up sometimes about making things perfect that I don’t take the time to really enjoy the company. So glad that you had a fun time and were able to let some things go. This is a great reminder for me!
i desire this too. we are currently buying a new home, and i’m seeking wisdom to know how to make it welcoming without spending an arm and a leg… thank you for inspiring me. bless you.
what a grand time. so important to enjoy yourself and not get taken up in the ‘i have to get this done’ mode of life.
loved your post.
So glad you had a memorable time together. The important thing is the getting together and making memories. As I looked at your kitchen counters I thought, how did our moms and grandmothers get along without the red Solo cups and shopping at Costco? Congrats on being there and willing to host all of your family…just adore the mass bodies!
You are SO right about this! I love your laid back hospitality. 🙂
so very well put! glad you were able to enjoy the extended family and create some memories 🙂
Love you, Jen! Your blog rocks my world. Thank you for this!
now THIS is the kind of hospitality I can get into. Plastic cups – blankets and pillows and people everywhere. Love it!