I tried to sit down and count up the number of football games, practices and meetings that I’ve sat through, cheered at and/or helped organize. With three boys, each playing football which so far has spanned a ten year period of time, that’s a lot of football watching.
As you can imagine, I field a lot of questions from other moms about the sport, and this is that time of the year when parents are deciding if they should sign their precious son up for this most demanding sport.
Did I mention that my husband played college football on a full scholarship, as well as a father who did too?
I know the game. I know the culture of the sport. I know the risks.
I’m going to be blunt.
If a mom calls me with football concerns,especially questioning if her son should play because the sport is too dangerous or worried that the coaches will be too mean or rough, she’s already answered her own question.
When I hear that kind of concern and hesitation before her child has ever stepped out onto the field, football is probably not the right sport for her. Now, it may be fine for the son, but honestly, football takes 100% cooperation from the parents and if the mom is already fearful, don’t start. It will be an uphill battle emotionally and there’s no reason to set yourself up for that when there are many other sport options out there.
Football is not right for everyone. In fact, I would say that it is not right for most. Many kids that are playing football right now, should not be, but the parent is living the dream vicariously through their child.
This is not going to be a debate over whether football is dangerous either, but I am going to address it head on.
I am an educated woman. I understand serious injuries happen. We can turn on the TV to know that is the case, but personally as a family, our first serious sports injury occurred from our son’s Varsity soccer game when a metal cleat (that should not have been used) went through the lip of our third son’s mouth as he played goalie. Not a pretty sight and we are grateful for skilled surgeons.
It’s also been interesting to hear politicians stirring the pot of safety and bringing opinions of football legislation to the forefront. While I appreciate everyone’s prerogative, I do not think it’s any politician’s right to begin asserting their opinion over who can and can not play football.
We need to take safety and research very personally. The more research and testing of helmets that occur, the fewer injuries. It’s no different than car safety. As we increased safety tests in that field, manufacturers began making safer cars.
We need to make sure that if we choose to let our sons play, the kids have top of the line equipment. Many teams, due to budgetary constraints, do not provide adequate equipment and this is a problem. Obviously, with the young boys, the hits aren’t that hard, but as our sons began playing at a higher level, specifically noting our one son who has now received a full ride Division 1 football scholarship, we purchased leg braces out of our own pocket and had them use helmets that passed a higher safety rating than those originally given.
I appreciate how the game is changing to make plays safer. While equipment is continually being improved, additional penalties and rules are being put into place to reduce the number of injuries and I whole heartedly agree with that.
Everyone loves a super hard hit, but not at the risk of a concussion. There’s always been a danger of leading with your head and that is being curbed. This past season, one son was involved with one of those hits that you hear from the stands. After being dazed for a bit, he was immediately seen by a physician on the side line. When our son didn’t pass all the questions asked of him (which honestly, there were a few that I think I might not have passed on my best day), he was immediately benched. A new state law requires players to sit out for seven days from the last day of symptoms and then he must be cleared by a doctor before returning to play.
So have I scared you yet? I mentioned this wasn’t going to be about safety, but here I am spouting off the fact that there are risks and yet we still decided to let our boys play.
Here’s the kicker. You would think that with 3 boys in 3 years, we sat around dreaming about that first day they could step out on the football field, but actually my husband would have been fine if they focused on other sports.
All of them are three sport athletes (fortunately, all in the same spot, so we weren’t in three different directions at one time), but they loved football. It probably has something to do with the fact my hubby was born and raised in Green Bay (Go PACKERS) and they bleed green and gold there. Our sons played for years with the Pop Warner organization (before high school). They had the privilege of going all the way to the Pop Warner National Championship game two different seasons and playing on ESPN.
While I know that every sport starts kids earlier and earlier, take your time.
Let their muscles develop. Football isn’t something they need to start at four years old, even though you’ll be told your children will be behind. That is just not true. If your child has natural ability, understands the game, and is willing to demonstrate a hard, work ethic, he could go out for the first time in middle school or even ninth grade year and be just fine. Now, I say that, but we “waited” until they were eight. Unless our sons were begging us to play, I would not even plant a seed in their mind until at least 10-12. I would love to show you a picture of all three of them playing during their younger years, but I didn’t have own a digital camera back then. 😉
Key questions to ask yourself before you make this football decision:
What is your son’s frame? How is he built?
Last year, our #2 and #3 sons played on the same Varsity football team. It was a blast, but #2 son is 285 pounds and #3 is 155. (Yes, same parents. It’s hard to believe.) While #3’s strengths are primarily as a punter and a kicker, the coaches needed him to play corner back. He is SO tough. In fact, rumbles from the stands always centered about how great of a hitter he was even though he is so skinny. Honestly, if he doesn’t gain weight, he needs to stick to only kicking and golf. That’s a football momma speaking and just the reality. His safety is first.
Does your son think, dream and breathe football?
He needs too – Not just you!
Your child needs to really, really want to play because once they start training, it separate those who have a true love of the sport from those who just want their face on a screen.The coaches will work your son very hard.
A few years ago, I remember having a chat with a friend whose son decided to play for his first year. As we watched on the side lines, she was very concerned that he was being worked too hard (i.e coaches were making them run in warm weather since they had been sitting around on the sofa playing video games all summer). Throughout the week, she just kept complaining.
Honestly, as a coach’s wife, those are the worst kind of parents. Coaches have a difficult time just trying to instill fundamentals and a hard work ethic in young players. They definitely don’t need immediate opposition from parents for no reason.
As a friend, wanting what’s best for the team and their family, I gently confronted her and began with the question, “This week has been hard for you to watch. Does your son love this game of football?”
“He thinks it would be cool, but his dad really wants him to play.”
When we first started football, I honestly had a bad attitude about the time commitment. I realized that I needed to get on board and support the coaches 100%. We made the choice to play and no one forced us to sign up. Rather than grumbling and complaining, I ended up making it a family event and we have the best memories of years and years of practice. I’d bring snacks, picnic dinners, games for the girls and we made it a community involvement.
What is your son’s temperament?
Football coaches are a whole different breed and you can have some tough coaches. Know this up front. While I would not allow our sons to be bullied, it can occur, as with any sport or activity. We’ve witnessed it in other venues as well, so be on the look out. Football coaches scream. We have had hundreds of coaches over the years, 98% of them yell, but mainly just a raising of their voice. Now, that yelling is not always in anger, but If your child has a softer or more sensitive temperament to raised voices, this is not for them. Many of my sons’ coaches had teddy bear hearts with a huge bear growl, but this is not a sport to put your child in to “toughen him up.” There is no place for that, just like there is no place at all for coaches who do have any anger issues. We’ve only had to confront two situations where coaches were out of line. In all of our years of sports, that’s a great ratio.
Is this a recommended program?
Ask around. Get past participant’s opinions on how the program is run, the caliber of the coaches, the goals for the teams, and especially, the temperament of the coaches.
Not all programs are created equal and I’ve seen it all, so doing your homework is important!
Make sure your coach knows what he is doing. Granted, these are volunteers, but they still need to understand how to actually teach the game, not just “know” the game. Believe it or not, there’s a lot to learn about hitting and blocking correctly. Learning the key fundamentals at an early age by coaches who truly understand them is very important and will also help in overall safety.
Has your child had enough?
Cultivate a true understanding of the game, which includes the wisdom to understand when your child has had enough.
I am never an advocate of allowing kids to quit anything mid season unless an injury or extenuating circumstance is involved, so I recommend going to shorter football camps first to give your child a feel for the game. Many organizations offer them in the summer and they can see how they like it. Once the season starts and you commit to the team, make your child see it through to the end even if they don’t like it. Obviously, there are always one or two exceptions, but letting them quit because they are just too tired or it’s too hard plays into the very entitlement mentality that I’m sure you want to avoid. Teach them responsibility and a stick to it mentality. Allow it to aid in their character building, not the other way around.
There’s just something about the game of football that mimics life.
The lessons learned through team work and camaraderie are unparalleled to many other sports.
There is never anything easy about football. In fact, I wrote a post five years ago, “Is Youth Sports Worth it? It was in the midst of the craziest experience ever with youth sports and what I witnessed reads like a bad Late Night Movie. I revisited it for the first time in years and I still can’t get over it, but it also shares my heart about adversity.
The discipline, mental toughness and sacrifice that these guys put out daily teaches them life lessons that are timeless. A hard work ethic, or even lack there of, shows on the field.
There are no short cuts, no easy routes and often life lessons are gleaned more through the losses and failures than the wins. It’s not an easy decision and my love of the game is LARGE, even though it might not read that way.
My desire is to allow you to make the best, informed decision before you enter into the commitment. We have never regretted our choice to allow the boys to play and are still overwhelmed with how much it has changed our lives, but it’s not right for everyone. I even end on the point that it’s not right for most.
I’d love to help you sort through the decision making process without any personal agenda. 🙂
I’ll save the football scholarship questions for another post because that is an entirely different world that we just had no idea existed.
Considering that our son was home schooled until he was 17 also creates a THIRD post – how did a home schooled kid get a scholarship for football, especially since NC does not allow home,schoolers to play on school teams?
So many happy tears have been shed over this amazing blessing.
So, before I start on that tangent, do you have any questions for me?
National Signing Day
That signature is worth around $250,000. I know. I know. I’m still pinching myself.
I’m happy for your son. But serious injuries are a major part of this game. I have met , several high school boys with traumatic brain injuries. Until you have seen a young man with part of his skull removed because of a football injury, I don’t think you can fully understand how serious those hits are. Those hits can be deadly and life changing.
Jodi – yes, serious injuries are definitely a part of the game. I do fully understand that and do not take that fact lightly. Statistically a very small percent have those kind of injuries that you mention, and more and more statistics are coming to the surface regarding injuries with concussions from soccer as well. I have gone pretty deep into the studies of football related injuries. I can’t even imagine having a friend like you mentioned who had that that happened. Can you send me a link to the friend you mentioned that had part of his skull removed due to a football injury. I would like to read into that more. In my research, I haven’t read about that.
Jen, thanks so much for sharing your heart. I have been the mom that avoided football if at all possible with my three boys, however my youngest begs to play. He will be 8 in June and I have been toying with the decision to let him play as I know he would be great at it. Are you sure you did not post this for me? lol
Wanted to tell you my football decision many years ago. When I was in high school (back in the stone age) I went to all the games until one of the players ended up dying after a hard hit. Turns out he had some problem the doctors had never found. It kind of traumatized me at the time and I never went to anymore games while in high school.
Anyway, when my son got old enough to want to play I started freaking out and said NO WAY! Sooooo, he played basketball and got his leg in a cast and lost a tooth. Also, he played baseball and messed up his back one season.
My husband’s response to me was “Oh, you didn’t want him to play football where he would be protected by a helmet and pads and he gets hurts in two other sports.” I learned a lesson from that. Sometimes, things just happen.
Now, my grown son and his 12 year old daughter are Second Degree Black Belts and I have no problem going and watch them spar, etc.
in tournaments. I think sports are great for kids as it teaches them responsibility, more self-control and it is good for their self esteem.
Our 9yo son has expressed an interest in playing football. An interest, mind you, not an obsession. My husband played football through high school and I know he’d love to see our son do the same. The thing is… I’m terrified. TERRIFIED. Our son is not aggressive in any way, shape, or form. What he IS is incredibly tall and a phenomenal runner. I’m struggling, very much, with not “taking this away” from my husband, but still staying true to myself. I can already tell you that it’s not the right sport for me. While I love watching football, I am horrified at the idea of our child playing it. I just don’t know the best way to express that without being disrespectful to my husband. 🙁
OH JessieLeigh – I can hear that momma heart speaking and you are right, it may not be a good fit for your family. Hmm, the hubby decision is a hard one. Would it be weird to send him a link to this post and just put an FYI in it with a little text before the email that says, “I think I am one of those moms she is talking about?” Then that way it might put it on “me” and would open up the communication with your hubby?
Well done Jen. I love watching football but my husband and I agreed that this we wouldn’t have the stomach for high-impact sports. We had girls so it’s not really an issue.
Why do you mention NC when Furman is in SC?
VERY different states 😉
– a SC girl
haha – yes, in mentioning NC, I meant since we live in NC, it’s our public school system that sets the decisions for who can play on their teams. Fortunately, we are SO excited to call SC our home away from home for the next 4-5 years. 🙂
Great article! This issue is a constant discussion with my 10 yr old son. He is an athlete by nature and has been playing a variety of sports since he was 3 yrs old. He is currently a travel baseball player most of the year, but also plays soccer, flag football, golf, and wants to start lacrosse. Flag football has been my saving grace in giving him a fall outlet for his football passion and skills, but this his last year of age eligibility. I just can’t see letting him play tackle football as a 60lb, 10yr old. He barely makes it at the bottom of the weight range. He has shown giftedness in multiple other sports, so I continue to stand my ground, though I feel bad sometimes not letting him play something we truly believe is a great sport and that he really wants to play. Such a tough call.
Hi Jen, I read this article with interest. I have a 9yo boy who loves sports. We are in Canada, though, so it’s not about football – it’s hockey! Many many similarities.
I am not at ALL a fan of sports in general or hockey in particular – of course my DH is. I have big (valid) worries about injuries but it is not, in the end, my dream. It’s my son’s. Not my job to tell him what he likes. I agree that once you’re “in” there is no more whining and complaining – not helpful for anyone! I’ll never be a “hockey mom” but I can support my son regardless!
🙂
Absolutely!! The support is so critical, whether you “Want” to be there or not. 🙂
Let them play.Try it out if they want.The practice will weed out kids that really don’t want to play.Or they will sit the bench.My son learned so much playing.He unfortunitly did not have the best coach.Did not help in any way in the scholarship process.Through his hard work and practice he did receive a full ride. Don’t hold your kids back let them experience life.
Jen, this was so so helpful. You made points I’d never even thought of before. As my boys start to take some serious interests in sports this is really going to guide my thinking. Super appreciate it, Lisa-Jo
Thank you for this – I love hearing about sports from a mom’s perspective. Our son is 13 and 6′ tall – around 170 so he keeps getting asked if he’ll play football, and he would LOVE to, but so far he’s played baseball and basketball. He’s very very dedicated to whichever sport he is currently in and his coaches love him because although he lacks athleticism, he never lacks the willingness to work hard and he has a GREAT attitude. He’s overcome so many obstacles in life and sports have been awesome for him, but I’m not sure if we are ready for football! If he does choose football this fall, it will mean giving up fall baseball and perhaps even basketball since we have a strict one sport at a time policy. If he doesn’t love it, it’s a lot to give up. I know that whatever he chooses we will be 100% behind him – and he’s coaches will know that they have our support!
You mentioned that your boys played 3 sports each. How the heck do you manage to get everyone where they need to be? As a mom of 4 I am struggling with this now. Wish I could be in 3 spots at one time:) my 7 year old really wants to play football but I think we might just wait until closer to 10. Thanks for all the wonderful points about football.
I should address that. They all played the same sports at the same time. for example, with football, they were all at the same field at the same time. After five years of football, one son said, well, I think I want to try soccer. Now, we knew he didn’t care about soccer, but he wanted to just do it for a friend and we told him, “You do not have to ever play football again, but we aren’t going in multiple directions.”
When it was basketball season, then they all played basketball and then they all did play on the same soccer team eventually but during the spring season. We had three boys in three years, so they were close enough in age that it worked this way.
I guess it was never a question if my boys would play football. How do you say it their dad is a football freak. My husband played in high school, at Baylor and for a short time with the Oakland Raiders. I wasn’t prepared for it since I grew up in an atmosphere where football wasn’t king. I now live in Texas where football is everything. My oldest played in high school and my youngest has a college football scholarship. I’ve also sat next to those moms who came to every game to watch their son ride the bench. I don’t know how they did it. I’ve sat next to the mom’s who screamed from the stands to the coaches to either put their son in or take him out. I just followed my husband’s lead in most cases because I did learn early on what makes perfect sense to me doesn’t apply in the football world
Oh the time commitment!!! I did not realize it would be 5-6 days a week all summer through fall so I was in for a shock. As a single mama to 3, it was a hard adjustment and I did complain (to my friends) but my 11 year son LOVES football. He’s built for football. He’s 11 years old, and is built like a miniature linebacker. He weighs more than his 14 year old brother. Some things you just know are meant for your children and footbal is his thing. He loves it. I do not like the long practices or sitting in the stands in 100 degree heat but I love watching him play. He’s in his element out there and i wouldn’t take that away from him. It’s hard to watch even now at this young age so i’m not sure how I’m gonna handle all the way through high school or possibly beyond but I’ll support him always.
Thank you so much for writing this! You’ve helped reassure me that we’re making a good decision: my 13 year old (currently in 7th grade) will start playing football for the first time next school year.
He’s played baseball since he was 5, never wanting to play anything else. Last year, he considered trying football but ultimately decided not to. He went to a strength training camp at school last summer. It’s open to all kids at the school, but geared towards football players and was pretty much pre-season football practice. He was still waffling on whether he wanted to play, but even after the camp, he decided not to. Then all fall, he endured everyone asking him why he wasn’t playing. Even the coaches wanted him to play! I told him the whole time that I thought he could be a good player if he wanted to play, but it was his choice and if he didn’t want to, then it was okay. He’s allowed to stay true to himself.
He decided a few weeks ago that he wants to play next year. I’m concerned about injuries, yes, but I think the benefits he’ll get from it vastly outweigh the risk of injury. The thing is, any sport has a risk of injury. I’ve seen plenty a baseball game with major injuries – even little league. My son played in a game where two kids on his team went to the ER from in-game injuries – both had concussions and one had a dislocated jaw. And then my son came in to pitch and the first batter lined a ball off his leg. (He was ok, but for a few minutes, we thought he might have to leave the game, too.) My main injury concern is that my son is built more like your son #3. He is 5′ 9″ and maybe 140 pounds. But part of his desire to play football is to get stronger and learn more about how to exercise well, which will help in any sport he plays.
Yes, I’m a bit nervous. And yes, part of me kinda hopes that his football career lasts one season. But if he falls in love with it, then I’m not going to keep him from playing. I’m not willing to squash someone else’s passion because of my own insecurities.
As a football mom, I’d say the most popular thing that parents of boys who want to play, but don’t, say is that “they are waiting until they are bigger” to play. I see this a big diservice to their children. One of the most important things they learn as young football players is how to take a hit. If you ask my almost 10 year old (who started at 7) what the most important thing about football is, he will say “keep your head up.” I think by the time kids are in junior high they have developed habits that will be hard to change. They will have to learn to keep their heads up the hard way – with much bigger kids hitting them. My son is small (75 lbs) compared to his teammates (100+ lbs) but he is a tackle. At this age, it’s not about size, it’s about learning the correct technique.
As far as the risks, I wish the stats on other sports was more available. Parents think they are safer putting kids into soccer instead of football and it’s just not true. Every sport has risks. We had a player that had so many concussions he was banned from football. But – here’s the thing – NONE of his concussions came from football. He received every one of them playing on the playground at recess. Pop Warner has strict rules about these kind of injuries so they would not let him play.
Jen, I love your honesty. This is one thorough post yet I’m sure the questions will still come. I love how you love your kids so well.
I have 2 sons in football, I could have written this post… Everything you said was right on the money! I’ll be eagerly awaiting your post on the scholarship process and how your son went through the process.
As a homeschooling mom of four boys and one girl that all love sports, I have always been curious about how your boys played in high school and beyond. Our oldest will be a freshman in the fall and we are in an area that doesn’t allow homeschoolers to play. We have enjoyed the freedom and family bonding that homeschooling has allowed and we are not ready to give it up yet. How did you do it, since you were in a similar position?
I will have to address that in a post since I got asked that all the time. Nearly all sports offer great options for high school, except football. There are travel teams and AAU teams which are really as competitive if not more so than school teams, so for football, we participated in those until they aged out. Then NC was putting forth a vote on whether homeschool kids can play at the school, but it got shelved. Our son sat out an entire year of football while we waited for something to change and when it didn’t, we knew that he would need to be on a team, so he did go to school at 17. We reclassed him, since he would have graduated at 17 and put him in as a Junior. He took some classes on line and the rest in class. Our 16 year old is now doing the same thing. We received special permission for him to take most of his classes through the virtual public school and he didn’t need to enroll and meet requirements to be a “public school kid” so he did need to take some at school as well. It has changed our freedom tremendously, but in some ways, we have the best of both worlds now. He still plays on the home school basketball team and qualifies for that since the time he spends at the brick and mortar school is so small.
Well, I can’t even get my 3 boys (11 y.o. twins and 14 y.o.) interested in any activity at all, let alone sports. They did Boy Scouts for awhile but quit that. One tried playing drums for band and hated it. They tried soccer one year and hated it. No interest in karate. Nothing. One is showing an interest in running so we may try that. Guess my kids are not joiners. My husband is so disappointed that they don’t like sports.
This was SUCH a helpful post that I don’t see many Christian bloggers writing about – so thank you!!!!! I loved reading through the comments and seeing your answers too. My boy LOVES football and my girl is doing cheerleading and gymnastics – both make me cringe a little. Lol! But my boy LOVES Tim Tebow – that’s his hero right now and we’ll ride it out till he moves on or play all the way through if he makes it. He had a GREAT season this past year through the public school as a 10 year old. We loved the coaches. Just praying we get great coaches again this year!
Congratulations to your son on his scholarship – that is AMAZING!!! Hooray!
Lots of Love,
Courtney
You are so welcome, Courtney. It’s been so fun to watch your IG pics of your sweet player and cheerleader. So many memories for me and every time I think how fortunate you are to have a school program that allows you to be involved. Good coaches are key (and we had one finally in high school that actually caused our eldest to decide after 10 years of football that he never wanted to play again….the story on that one? SO hard!)
Wish our paths crossed more in real life. I would LOVE that!
GREAT article!! I read you article, not because I needed help deciding whether my boys would play football…..most likely they will…..if they want to that is. But I really wanted to read it as a “football coaches wife” and a coach myself and of course a mom of two little boys. It was not at all expecting such a quality article. You are so right and make many great points. I think the one really important point you made, that goes for other sports as well…..not just football…..is that they CAN wait to get started! They will not be behind, and if they are a little behind in the very beginning, they can easily catch up. I am a softball person, so am I saying that they can wait to 13 to start playing softball and suddenly be a star, no, but what I am saying is that you could wait until 7 or 8 instead of starting at 4! These are just a few more years that your little ones can just enjoy “free play”. If you want to garuntee that they won’t be “behind” play at home, just for fun, get them introduced to the game without the year round commitment!
Also totally agree about the parents who are not on board send kids to practice who aren’t ready to work and to learn. Then when they don’t get the playing time that they wanted, they want to complain instead of encouraging the athlete to work harder. Sorry to go off on a tangent, really liked your article!
Also, how did your son get a scholarship being home-schooled???????
What a thoughtful piece filled with very good advice. We enjoyed football until the lasting effects of a concussion stopped my son from playing anymore. I agree about making sure you take charge about your son’s equipment; however, remember that no equipment protects against all concussions. My son’s helmet, which we purchased specifically for its touted protection, was demolished by the hit he took during a kickoff. I’m just thankful that basketball and track are still options.
Awesome advice, one to add — learn the game, know the rules and be present. My youngest son graduated last year, my linebacker! 6’5″ tall and football weight 260 lbs. He started playing when he was in 1st grade, Little League. My oldest also played in 1st and 2nd grades, and then played again in 6th thru 8 grades, as punt return, at 5’11” weighing 130 lbs dripping wet, his passion was running long distance. My middle son, is 6′ & weight a whopping 135 lbs, he ran track but mainly to hang out with his best friend, he is my mechanic. All three boys raced BMX, the youngest started when he was 4, yes four years old. He and the oldest excelled at it and by the time the 4 yr old was 5, he was riding expert, where the oldest got there in a year in a half. Again the middle son, didn’t care for it but could fix the others bikes better then the grown ups. They all played a variety of sports baseball, soccer, football, track and BMX. Was there trips to the ER?? You bet!! I have 3 boys. At one point I was sure the ER was going to turn me in for abuse, in 3 week period, I had made 5 trips to the ER, stitches on 2 different boys, x-rays, one broke wrist and one broke ankle. The school nurse referred to me as super mom, as all but one trip started at school. How many from sports? 4 – 1)the oldest stepped in a hole while running off the football field, 6th grade. 2 3 & 4 are all the youngest– 2) broke is arm 6th grade took off his cast to be able to play in the last game. 3) tore his pcl his junior year 6th game in, out for the season, never missed a practice or game 4) and final er trip, was when he dislocated a rib, a hour bus ride home, when he got off the bus he came directly to the truck shoulder pads still on followed by a coach, Dr popped it back and he was fine. He also threw disc and shot in track and lifted weights, he wrestled his sophomore year where he tore a muscle in his low back, this was his over all deciding factor in not continue playing in college. He continues to mentor with high school players when he can get back from college. Not only physically but emotionally and spirituality. And I want to add to those moms that say they can’t make it to practice, I will have you know I was a full time working single mom for 8 years. Yes we ate in the car, did homework on the sidelines, sat in the rain and cold and there where a lot of complaints. As the older two boys graduated the youngest was still playing football, they came to his home games and when the oldest joined the USAF and wasn’t able to be home for any of his brothers senior games they talked every Saturday morning discussing every play. Football has always brought my boys together, even the middle one who never wanted any part of it, he and I had to learn the rules to know what the other two were talking about. So learn the rules the positions and what each does!!
First off, congrats to your son and family!! That’s an awesome accomplishment. This was an interesting post for me. My nephew (8, he lives with us) wants to play next season, and saying no or pushing it back a few years never crossed my mind. I found this on Pinterest and just wanted to see what I’m in for next fall. My husband played soccer, I played tennis, and our daughter dances competitively. Football is new for us, but to be honest, the possibility of injury comes with almost everything these days. I’ve seen some pretty horrendous injuries over the years, and not one was football related. Thanks for the info on the higher rated safety gear. That’s something I wouldn’t think to look for on my own. At this point, I’m not sure if I’m hoping he loves football or hates it after next season, but we’re gonna give it a try! lol Thanks again!!
Good luck on your journey. For an 8 year old, just make sure the equipment in is good condition and it fits very well. You should be ok with what they issue as long as it’s fitted for him and has no cracks or instabilities.
Hi Jennifer, I have met you at Becoming 2years now. I love hearing about your family esp your football boy!! My son is 17 a Jr. in High school and plays football. He hit 6 foot in 6th grade and was skinny back then. Now he is 6’5″ and about 320 and taking off the spring season. I didn’t get to read all of your fball article but now that my son has spring off he is so much Happier. Well see how the fall goes. thanks, btw did you get my Becoming pictures I put on my Facebook wall. that is the only way I know how for you to see them. I would love for you to be able to use them for your slide show or whate
ver at Becoming 2014!!! thanks,
Thanks Pat. Can’t wait for Becoming. So glad you can join us again. If you tag my facebook page in your Becoming pictures (on your facebook wall, then they will show up in our feed and I can snag them. Can you try that?)
As a Texas football mom, I could not agree with you more. Especially the point of there not being much benefit to starting at the pee-wee level. My son did not step foot onto the football field until Jr. High. I can say with all certainty that he was not at any disadvantage for starting “late”. If a kid has the talent and drive, then middle school is a fine place to start. Plus, in my opinion (at least here in Texas), I think a lot of the crazy coaches and parent incidences are avoided by skipping the private youth leagues all together.
It is naive to ignore the possibility of injury in this sport, even with training and proper equipment. But I CAN say this… I’ve watched my son develop characteristics on the field that I know are the direct result of playing football. Teamwork, confidence, responsibility, tenacity, and physical fitness to name just a few. Great post that I know will be so helpful to other parents.
Thanks so much for your great insight, Wendy. I really appreciate it.
We are an athletic family. I have 5 boys and 1 girl. My husband has coached wrestling, baseball, football, and a little basketball. Most of our days are spent on the sidelines, cheering for our kids. I’ll never forget the night my 14-yr-old son, who had previously played football for 4 years, was critically injured. He was paralyzed from the neck down for 2 hours, laying in the emergency room, not responding, breathing sporadically…an absolute nightmare! Thank goodness for the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father, he slowly improved. We had to pull him out of school, for his own safety. Anytime he would try to do something physical, he would drop down to the ground with episodes of paralysis. He missed most of his freshman year of high school. He sat on the sidelines watching his friends play all of his beloved sports. It was a hard and trying year. He will never play football again. However, I am happy to report that he has already played a season of high school basketball, and is currently playing high school baseball. He still isn’t 100%. He had one episode 4 months ago, where his head hit another basketball players knee…he lay still on the court, my heart dropped to my toes. He couldn’t move for ten minutes, and had that glassy look in his eyes for the rest of the evening. We didn’t let our younger boys play football last year, but we are debating it this year. Boys love the sport, regardless of the risk. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to watch.
I can’t even imagine and I am with you, I don’t know if I’d be able to watch either, nor would I want to have the others play. I can imagine the very hard decision you have ahead of you. Those are moments that never leave you and that price was awfully high..
As a mom who has a boy and a girl (gasp!) in Pop Warner football, I have to say I completely agree with what you have written here. I am constantly questioned, especially about our girl, but she loves the sport. All sports have potentially serious injury potential. Recently a local middle school baseball player was killed when a line drive hit him. It is horrible and sad. I’m also a soccer coach for our local Y and I played soccer when I was young as well. I’ve seen plenty of injuries there. I’m unwilling to pull my kids from sports because of the possibility of injury. Theycouldfall and break something on a sidewalk.
As for the family commitment, it is absolutely a must. Add a parent you have to be willing to put the time in. We too picnic at practice and everyone goes unless there is a conflict.
Thanks for this post.
Get off your high horse!!! What about a kid that begged to play… As a parent and as someone who has grown up around football, I didn’t want to say yes, but I want my kids to make their own choices… And if they choose isn’t for them, then they learn from it… I have to say one thing that stands out from your article… How can you, as a mom, rally think it’s ok for coaches to yell and ridicule LITTLE kids? I’m assuming ur husband was the coach?? You need to stop acting like you know ALL about a sport you have never played and have not have ever been around all the yelling and embarrassment… I love football but I will NEVER allow anyone to embarrass my son or any other kid just bc… Do your boys play anymore???
Sorry that you felt that way, but I agree with you 100%, so I am wondering if you skimmed the article without reading all of it? In fact I said, “Football is not right for everyone. In fact, I would say that it is not right for most.”
I also think that men who ridicule little kids or scream out of anger have no place as coaches and I am pretty clear throughout the post. I mentioned we had to confront two such coaches. They don’t belong out there with young kids. As to knowing the game, my dad had a full ride for football, my husband did and now yes, our son still plays and actually has a $250K full football ride to a Division 1 school, so I have been around this sport just a bit.
@Jennifer,
Did we read the same article? I’m blown away by what you have said. Not only is it completely off base as to what was said in the article, it’s just rude. Please be kind in how you respond.
As a homeschool mom whose son wanted to play badly, I have a slightly different perspective on this issue. I really had no issues with my son wanting to play but I wish I had checked out their equipment and the coaches knowledge of how to handle a possible head injury more thoroughly. At one game, my son took a behind the back tackle where the opponent grabbed him around his arms. When he fell, he had no way to break his fall and slammed his forehead into the ground. He saw stars but did not completely black out. He went to the sidelines and immediately laid down. No one checked on him. The coach came up to him to tell him to go back in and he asked for another minute because he was nauseous. The coach said OK, but told him he would have to go back in after the next play. He’s the kind of kid that will just keep pushing through and so he got up and went back out onto the field and played. I wasn’t there, but my husband was. He saw the hit but didn’t see him go to the sidelines and lay down. When he came back onto the field, he assumed everything was fine. He finished the game, went and got food afterward, took medicine for a headache and went to bed. The next day, when I got up (I work night shifts), I saw him come in the room holding his head and looking for more advil. When I questioned him about his headache, he told me it was from the hit the night before. Being a nurse, I immediately started questioning him on his symptoms. To make this long story shorter, he had a significant concussion that required an ER trip and multiple trips to the doctor. The scary thing is he actually didn’t even remember going out to eat after the game.
When I questioned why he wasn’t taken out or looked at on the sidelines, everyone just “didn’t notice”. And since my son didn’t specifically complain or refuse, no one thought to check on the kid lying down on the sidelines. The coach even thought that the doctor taking him out for a couple of weeks was ridiculous and that “kids take hits everyday, it just happens”. So after that, he was the kid that couldn’t “suck it up and go on”.
While I know injuries happen in ANY sport (we have rock climbers as well), I can’t excuse those that are in a position of authority not being aware of how to handle an athlete that may be injured. Sure, that kid that broke his arm during a game gets attention, but not the one that has a less obvious injury.
Do not let your kids play on a team that does not have a plan in place to thoroughly check on kids that take bad hits. If your coach isn’t up to date on the current concussion protocols for children, then they do not need to be playing under that person. Specifically, I would be even more diligent about questioning coaches on homeschool teams since parents are usually the coaches and they may not be as educated as a school coach would be.
I 100% agree. That should never ever happen!! Every coach should be required to go through concussion education and equipment is key. One year, Matthew actually got his own helmet (outside of what the school provided) and we spent a lot of money out of our own pocket on knee braces. On our son’s public school team they take the concussion injuries SO incredibly serious. It’s a law now. In fact, if that would have happened, he would not have been allowed to go back into the game until he had a doctors appointment the next week with a minimum of a one week concussion program starting from the doctor’s visit (and that’s if the doctor gave the ok.) Often, kids are out for minimum of two weeks with something much less serious than Derek’s injury. He probably would have been out for three weeks.
My son just turned 13 and is 5’4″ tall and weighs 80 lbs and is 7th grade. He’s been asking since last year if he could play football and my husband is completely against it. His response is “you’ll get killed out there” and “have you seen how those kids hit, he’ll never make it”. I’m more of the “let him play” kind of mom. He’s constantly asking me to play tackle football with him and I don’t take it easy on him and he’s not wearing pads or a helmet. My son is crushed that his dad is so against him playing. Have you ever dealt with hesitations from dads instead of moms?