October 17, 2017

There’s Never a Win


I sit in the stands at my son’s game.

Families, women, men, children from all walks of life. I people watch because it’s what I love to do with groups of people.

Imagining their back grounds. Wondering about family dynamics. Quantifying a total stranger’s life based on first impressions, based on dress, based on body language.

It’s one thing to do in a crowd of strangers, but as women, why can’t we get away from this in our daily lives.

We become engrossed in the comparison game, and often, we don’t even realize its ramifications.

The problem with this most aggressive of competitive games is there is never a win. I’m screaming this from the STANDS – there is NEVER a WIN!

The more we compare ourselves to others, the more we lose.

Negative emotions escalate – jealousy, inadequacies, longings, discontent. How easily those grow.

It’s a bitter battle, I tell you, and especially, as we roam the blogosphere, that discontent can spread.

How can one small quality take root and bring such lingering consequences?

When those moments hit me like that, I fight back.

I fight with the truth. His Truth defeats the lies.

Sweet friends, you have been uniquely created to be you!

There is no one that can bring the personality, creativity, love and gifts that the Lord has given you, except you.

When we continually compare ourselves to others, and imagine life is greener on the other side, joy is stolen. But when we embrace who God made us and choose joy in the every day, our lives impact those around us.

Often, we don’t even know it, but the simple act of understanding and resting in the truth that we are “Good enough” leads to a joy mentality that permeates those around us.

That is the aroma I want to share. That is why I choose to write on 31 Days of Good enough Things.

Releasing ourselves from the bonds and shackles that mock us and whisper, “You are not good enough,” frees us to experience life to its fullest.

Sweet ladies – We measure up! We are enough! Just the way we are!

Now that is not to say there aren’t areas in my own life that I continually need to work on and improve, because there definitely are – daily!  But the beauty of understanding His truth means that nothing I can do, say, make or blog about will increase or change the way the Lord sees me because in His eyes, I am more than enough.

31days buttons bbb wide DIY: Old Headboard Into New Welcome Sign

Read the rest of my 31 Days of Good ‘enough” Things by clicking here, and don’t miss the launch of 10 Minute Dinners.

I’m tackling 31 Days towards 10 Minute Dinners over at my new site.

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


  1. Beautifully written my friend. Such TRUTH in these words! I can’t tell you how inspired I have been by this “Good Enough” series. You are exactly right….it is so freeing to realize that we are enough, just as we are. xoxo


  2. I love this quote. You’re so right that in comparison no one wins.


  3. Oh Jen – this is such an important truth – one we women need to hear often and loudly! I think comparison is one of Satan’s most powerful tools – after all, didn’t Lucifer fall because he compared himself to God, found himself lacking and wanted more? He’s still using his same tactics, ans we are still falling for them!

    When we look at others and find ourselves lacking or conversely, when we compare and begin to entertain feelings of superiority, we forget the individual way in which God works in each of our lives. We begin to doubt our unique giftedness, our ability to serve Him as an integral part of the the family of God, and ultimately, we doubt His love for us. If we compare and find others ‘lacking’ that old enemy pride creeps in, and it’s just as harmful – we feel completely adequate within ourselves and our own abilities and forget our utter dependance upon God. In either case we listen to the lies and create a barrier that makes it hard for truth to penetrate.

    I’ve been really struggling lately – from February until the end of May I was regularly attacked on a friend’s blog – not by name, but with enough identifying information to be sure all of our mutual friends were aware. The words she used were hate-filled and personal. It caused so much hurt and sorrow for me and in the end it left me wondering if God could truly use me to bring Glory to Him and be a blessing to others. I’ve withdrawn from so many things that used to bring me joy, and even from sweet friendships that were a such a blessing.

    I’m at the point of forgiveness and moving forward by God’s grace into a place where His Truth can touch the hurt places of my heart and begin the work of healing. I’m learning to let this go {most days} and to invest myself in friendships once again. God is so good to bring blessings in the midst of struggle – out loud reminders of His faithfulness and love.

    Thank you for your post and for your ‘good enough’ series – though I have rarely commented over the past several months, I have been learning! Letting go of expecting perfection from myself is another area of my life where God is showing truth in dark corners. I love the headboard-turned-chalkboard that your girls made – it’s lovely! Your a wonderful mom for resisting your urge to tweek it a bit and make it ‘perfect’ – it’s so much more than ‘good enough’ just like it is!


    Jen Reply:

    @Heather, Heather – thank you so much for sharing your heart. Sorry that I didn’t respond earlier, but we had a family emergency this weekend.

    Pain like that cuts deep. I have felt it before, but I am so glad to hear that you are using this to bring blessing from the sorrow. For me, it occurred over 15 years ago, and I can pin point that occasion as the time the Lord taught me more and grew me in my leadership skills more than any other time.
    I took how that situation was handled and knew that I never wanted anyone to feel that way, and from that have certain leadership qualities now that would have never been built up or used had that pain not occurred. It doesn’t make it easier in the process, but He uses it for His glory, for sure! I’ll be praying for you.


  4. Thank you for the quote and your post, I needed that today!


  5. I bought the book, So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore, at a yard sale. I truly enjoyed it and have since been able to let go of the perfectionism I used to hide my insecurities. Its a wonderful book and addresses the issues you mentioned about comparing ourselves to other women when we should be building each other up. Thanks Jen!



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